IT'S NOT ALWAYS A "YES!"
Have you ever had God tell you: “No!’ Looking around the room tonight - I would venture to say you have. Situations I’m sure have varied: it may have been a prayer you prayed, a relationship you desired, a healing not realized but your focus on the ask led to a place where you didn’t realize his plans were better than you own. Moments of heartache and (seemingly) empty hands, can leave one wondering why he would take away this opportunity or ask from your hands. When we are forced to let go of something we really long for — whether it’s taken away, or it seems it will never be given — grief is a natural response. The weight of disappointment is crushing. It can be overwhelming and take time to process. Honestly, sometimes we cannot comprehend how his promises align with the circumstances our loved ones and we face. Maybe, we need to learn the problem could be our limited understanding, not the truth of God’s promises.
It’s not wrong to experience disappointment when life does not unfold the way we hope. If we do not give ourselves permission to grieve, we inadvertently believe that God is more concerned with us immediately feeling better, rather than working through the hurt to bring real transformation to our heart. We lose sight of the invitation he has given us to place our struggles at his feet.
He is not afraid of the pain we feel. His sovereignty is not dependent on our emotions. He will not try to invalidate our hurt with quick and temporary fixes. We are free to express a sense of lack and sorrow in the moment. He lets us feel the void so that he might satisfy us with himself. He wants to draw near.
Disappointment often reveals what captures our affections. Even though the disappointment is not always wrong, it does give us a gauge that shows us where we have invested our hope. Lamenting through our discontentment forces us to carry those desires back to God — even if just to question why he hasn’t given these things to us. It sheds light on the idols we have created in our lives. Through the grief, we dig up our biggest frustrations and unleash our rawest emotions. Grief graciously draws us in to wrestle with God in every wound and disappointment.
The purpose of lament is not merely to vent our distress (which leaves us in despair), but to bring our attention back to God’s promises and the hope we have in Christ.
He promises that he hears us when we call - Matthew 7:7
He promises to be near to us - Psalm 34:18
He promises to be faithful - Deuteronomy 31:6
He promises that this hurt will end - Revelation 21:4
He promises that when we seek him, he will transform our hearts to desire more of him - Psalm 37:4
He will not leave us in the misery of our disappointment, because he has not finished the work he started in us - Philippians 1:6
C.S. Lewis once wrote, “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”
Redirection forces something out of our hands we had hoped to keep. Through that, we begin to realize God’s plan for our life does not equate to the easy or comfortable road; but he is working all things together, even this disappointed, for our good.
God always has our ultimate good in mind, which means he will pry the idols from our hands. He does this not because he is cruel or depriving us. He knows better than we do, and his “no” is always merciful, even when it hurts. Disappointment may be part of living in this world, as we struggle to let go of our earthly desires and open our hearts to receive the good things God wants to give us. But if we are in Christ, our struggle with disappointment is only temporary. The promises of God, and the joy we experience as we realize them, are eternal.
Even when I resist his process, I can trust and believe his purposes are for my good. C. S. Lewis opens the doors to our imagination with this reminder:
Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is he up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but he is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it himself.
God’s no to our prayers is always a yes to his providential purposes. We can hold fast to him, knowing that he hears us, he cares for us, and he is always at work. He does not forget us or fail us just because he tells us no.