Holy Wednesday: 37 days
Today, in Holy Week; we come to the day known as Spy Wednesday. We use the word spy in a reference to Judas's action in the Bible. You can read this story in Matthew 26:14-16: “One of the twelve apostles, Judas Iscariot [the locksmith], went to the leading priests and said, “How much are you willing to pay me to betray Jesus into your hands?” They agreed to pay him thirty silver coins. Immediately Judas began to scheme and look for an opportunity to betray him…”
We too have so often betrayed Jesus, we too have so often broken bread with Jesus and perhaps have sold him for money, out of ambition, out of greed, out of anger, hatred, revenge or even violence for our own personal gain. We can, like Judas, either abandon him in despair or, like Peter [as we will read later in the story], come back to him with tears of repentance.
Today, marks 37 days since Ash Wednesday. When in the last 37 days was I a bit like Judas, tempted to betray God? Have I broken a promise? How and when have I forgotten that I am a child of God? How have I betrayed myself in the past 37 days? Have I let myself down? Cheated myself or others? Pushed too hard? When have I forgotten how my actions not only affect myself but affect others, affect community? When have I ignored my need for Sabbath and not given God the chance to show me that my busyness, even if I am busy with Holy work, is no more important than my need to rest?
Walter Brueggemann says: “…the lesson of biblical faith, rooted in human history, is that God always comes to us from the future. Among other reasons, this explains why we are so often surprised when we encounter the holy. Too often we are looking in the wrong direction, backwards and not looking ahead. Undoubtedly, this explains why when angels are encountered throughout the Bible story that the first words out of the divine messenger’s mouths is: “Don’t be afraid.”
When you look behind you at the last 37 days, where has God been speaking those words to you. “Don’t be afraid!” Where has he proven himself faithful to you during your Lenten journey? What ordinary miracles have made themselves known to you? Have you been clobbered by grace or had a waterfall miracle, you know those big, huge miracles that happen, and we have no other option except to just be stunned? How has God been leading you through the wilderness and into the land of milk and honey?
Where are the places you were afraid – and you resolved to trust his faithful plan.
When you are done naming all the ways God has been present to you since Ash Wednesday, all the ways grace has shown itself to you in the midst of your own betrayals, then let’s look to the future and remember, Judas is not alone. What he did is happening every day. God forbid – that perhaps, we too, have betrayed and handed over Jesus more than once. After we reflect on our own humanness, then let us also use this day to reflect on all the ways God does not betray us.
Stay strong. God is doing a great thing.